6/11/03

Signs that you may not want to rent in the area.

• Ask about noise / crime and get evasive answers.


• close to primary city traffic


• the agent mentions a nicer apartment just up the road, but for reasons unknown, won't take you there


• while waiting for a cab, you witness an impromptu pit bull fight- a young lady's being walked is attacked by another not tethered in the yard over. Thank goodness for aluminum crutches.

Though the apartment was clean, tile floors, looks a bit small for a one bedroom. Has a pool and laundry facilities. I'm going to look a bit more deeply into the quieter parts of town, as that place had three units available; I have mixed feelings about it. I probably won't get one of those. Most places are only asking first and security, and a few are offering $100 off if I move in within 2 weeks, another $100 off if I get the application back to 'em in 24 hours, and yet a third $100 off if I tell them that I found the place via rent.com.

Other Things seen -

About 5 apartments, all within a 6-block radius. varied wildly from "Oh, Hell no" to "Wow, that's gorgeous". I think that I can find a nice place, a little bigger for not much more than I'm paying now.

A kid (13?) get off the school bus with a bright yellow folder labeled "languish arts" written by what looks to be a 6 year-old's off-hand script. I think Languish Arts is a cool name for a band, but I don't think the kid was being clever, just illiterate.

A young Spanish girl, maybe fifteen, with colorful neck tattoos, as well as on one either arm and at the base of back. I wonder how she'll feel about those in another fifteen years? Will she live to see forty-five? Sixty? The arms are easily covered, but the neck would be very difficult. I wonder how, if at all it'll affect her ability to get a job?

Why did I opt not to take my camera with me today? I forgot. I planned on taking it with me to take photos of the apartments I visited.

Occasionally, I'm bad about minimizing other people's pain. Sometimes I feel that if you've got a roof over your head, food in your belly, and are able to read... you're already a thousand miles ahead of the gross majority of the world.

But, some folks feel other pain more deeply, and when I remember to, I reflect on that, and feel for them, as well. Some folk ache in the heart or the mind over things that seem very real to them, so as far as that goes, is real.

Broken hearts hurt, as do any broken oath. Broken people can hurt others with their sharp edges, too. I feel for those that suffer from breakage, and fear for those I love being hurt too. The trouble being that I think all people are broken, in some way. Everyone I know particularly well is, anyway. Including myself.

So, what's the solution?

I try to keep my jagged side from hurting people, and likewise, try to help those I care about do the same.

I don't mind getting some nicks and cuts along the way, if it means those I care about can be made happier, and maybe even have those broken parts coated so that they don't hurt themselves.

I know I can do little spot-welding here and there, but can't really fix other people. I can only help. I think that I've gotten a lot of my own issues worked out, drawing strength and guidance from important people in my life, too.

I don't know where I'm going with this. Just stating what's on my mind.

Maybe broken isn't the right term? If we all work that way, maybe it's more of a design flaw.

What bit of myself that needed changing has been repaired lately due to another's help? I think compassion is it. I'm far more merciful a person than I was when I first started this journal. I'm more for easing off on punishment now, even when justice demands it. I've been good at consideration, but not so great at compassion.

What needs the most work right now? Heck, I don't know...maybe developing a better focus. Better to cloud some vision and crystallize others. Perhaps a broken body currently needs more tending to than a broken mind. Maybe writing more again.