fresh from a relaxing hot shower.

I see an invading bug of a nondescript sort.

drying in a towel, I call out to Newton... "Destroy the invader, my noble jungle friend!" (In my best James Earl Jones Basso-profundo, no less) If I'd had more time, I'd have come up with something better. maybe an opening of "Hie thee behind me, oh meddling fiend, lest I release the terrible whirlwind of justice that is Newton!.... To me, my son!". There's always next time.

he trots in, pounces, and with a sickening crunch after about 30 seconds of pursuit, our six-legged intruder is no longer on this plane. I feel a moment of mixed feelings... pride in Newton's speedy dispatch of the segmented arthropod and attending to me. a little sad that some silly bug probably did the insect equal of flying accidentally over enemy lines, and without so much as a radio warning, the government fired a sidewinder missile at the lost navigator.

well, them's the breaks. if I'd discovered him while in clothes, I'd not have had to summon the cavalry. don't mess with superior firepower.

Trying suave shampoo, as the grocery was out of the australian stuff... smells good, and does a good job at cleaning.

Newt ate the bug in its entirety, and I am dry now. I must photograph my defender for posterity. be right back. back. did you miss me, dear journal?

he is now eating his kibble...I imagine to get the flavor of the enemy from his capable jaws.

feeling silly. the universe just changed settings.

Laugh-O-Matic (Serious / Satirical / Witty / Wacky / Insane) ...the needle is pushing a bit more ot the right.

(earlier....)

Raining lightly out this morn, I walked for a little bit, maybe a mile. I slept soundly... I was up later than I'd planned last night. Read quite a lot, polished off a few of the heel-ends of the books I was reading. I want to eat what the giraffe is having for lunch on animal planet... fresh apples, especially. I'm settling for apple-cin oatmeal, and it's fine by me. Some interesting opportunities on the horizon, I think. Currently being mauled by Newtie, because of a recent tooth-brushing. *note to self* Brush teeth after eating oatmeal. bleh.

The dials on Scotto's universe today are -

Spectra-Analyzer (Monochrome / 4-Color / True-Color)

MPAA Rating (G / PG / R / NC-17)

Kill switch (Off / On)

Weirdness Tank (Empty / Low / Half / High / Full)

Laugh-O-Matic (Serious / Satirical / Witty / Wacky / Insane)

Cliche Blender (Pulse/Blend/Puree)

Global Soundtrack Volume (off, 1 , 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11!)

Personal Soundtrack Volume (off, 1 , 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11!)

Batteries (Empty / Low / Half / High / Full)

Now, you can be a Modern Major-General, too.

I love the movie joe vs the volcano. great soundtrack, too

If the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz had a Pa, I suspect he'd look a lot like Boilerplate, mechanical man extraordinaire of the Victorian Era.

I've worked something out, I got an itch scratched. good feeling...positive vibes.

Well, I got to the doctor at 1:10, they saw me by 2:45ish. (for my 1pm appt), they seemed happy with my back, but are having me come back again in two weeks for another once-over. (this time, I made an appointment for 9am, so I can get to work on time....I hope) the cab took another hour or so to come get me in the torrential downpour, only to bring me to work that was having major breakdowns of its own. hardware faults, network faults, dale out sick, karen having a heck of a time. bleh.

I'm glad the day is over... I think I'll turn in early, with a good book, some champa smoke, and fresh, clean sheets. maybe some soft, flame-colored purr-monster will help me to sleep, too.

nifty thing, though... saw a costumed mario-like superhero, and he gave me a coupon for some pizza... a "little ceasar's" knockoff.... how good can $5 large pizza be? (you can bet I'll find out, though... you never know... it could be great.)

If it's not raining too hard tomorrow morning, I'm going walkies... it started coming down like gangbusters this morning, and didn't stop until I got to work, again. turned off and on like on tap...I wonder if mario jet did ok? It must've been hot in that suit, to start. I bet it's hard to hawk pizza, and fight crime in the florida weather.

speaking of foom-a-looma's Pikachu dream

Children identify Pokemon more easily than animals

Pokemon "creatures" are far more recognisable to the average eight-year-old than animals and plants.

A study found that British children were better able to identify characters from the card game than their own native species. They were more likely to remember names like pikachu, metapod, muk and wigglytuff than mouse, otter, beetle and oak tree.

And now, I'm off! Happy April-day, dear Journal.

the reprint:

Scotto does not like April fool's day jokes.

I have been known to go wookie on folks (that I don't love... my brother and girlfriend could probably get away with it, but they're too sweet to do so) that play them on me, or hurt those I love with them. Practical Jokes just aren't funny.

So, fair warning, people of Earth. Don't monkey with me, because I will enforce a karmic retribution so heinous and vile, you'll wonder how I was kept from being locked up for this long.

An old newspaper clipping form my days as a midget wrestler... before my growth spurt ruined my career.

ah, sadly the text is lost, but a photo remains. when puberty hit, my body sprouted a bushel of hair (I've had the goatee since infancy...) and I grew another 3 and a half feet inside of a year. Ah well...wrestling is fake and for yahoos anyway. :)

My old gear -

Apprentice

From: Boston, Mass

Entrance: Sorcerer's Apprentice

Height: 4'3"

Weight: 70

Finisher + Description: Spinning Splash. A Snuka type splash with 180 degree rotation.

Style: high flyer

Description: Pointed hat, blue cape, weightlifter tights (all blue with yellow stars), sandals.

Medical: Achondroplasia

Quote:I'm drinking my milk! One day, you'll be sorry!




There IS a wrong way to eat a Reese's Peanut-Butter Cup.



i wish i was a glow worm

a glowworm's never glum

'cause how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out your bum?

Thus Endeth the reprint. I think I'm a softer bear this year. If someone pulls a dumb ol' gag on me this year, I'll just say to the offender "You know, you should think twice about that stuff... someone might take it the wrong way, and do something awful to you in return." in an earnest, friendly (and non-threatening) voice, and let it drop from there. I don't have as much of a growly streak as I had a year ago. I thank my sweetheart for that... However, I'm still quite defensive of those I care for. Strong paternal instincts, I guess. (Or maybe even maternal, where Newt is concerned.) I'll still go wookie on the behalf of my beloved.